Getting addicted to drugs is not that hard. Many do it by choice while some are forced into it. According to the National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH), 21.5 million American adults (aged 12 and older) battled a substance use disorder in 2014. Whatever the case is, these people require our help and support to get back on their feet. Kaylee Muthart’s story is a similar one. Addicted to meth, she was pushing herself to come clean and start over. It’s a hard step that Kaylee was taking one step at a time. However, she relapsed on Feb. 6, 2018, causing her to do something horrifying.
On Feb. 6, Kaylee had a meth-induced psychotic trip outside of a church in her hometown Anderson, South Carolina.
Kaylee was in a meth-induced state, causing her to be in a violent delirium. In her state, she hallucinated that she needed to sacrifice her eyes to God in order to free the souls that she believed were trapped in graveyards. According to the American Psychiatric Association, a psychosis happens when both hallucinations and delusions are present. Those who abuse substances have underlying mental health conditions, which is known as a dual diagnosis. Meth users have their own terminology.
As Kaylee was going through her psychotic-trip, she started to harm herself. Locals tried to help her but she fought them off.
The young woman then proceeded to rip her eyes out while in a state of delirium. It eventually took a team of deputies to restrain Muthart long enough to transport her to the trauma unit at nearby Greenville Memorial Hospital. At the hospital, doctors had to inform her mother, Katy Tompkins, that her daughter was completely blind.
The incident left her completely blind but also warped her perception of religion. She had to stay at the hospital as well as a psychiatric facility but was able to return home on March 1.
Kaylee now opened a new chapter in her life with a new state of mind.
Talking to the PEOPLE magazine, she said,
“It’s the same life, but I’m just learning everything in a new way. Life’s more beautiful now, life’s more beautiful than it was being on drugs. It is a horrible world to live in.”
Months before the incident took place, she was given marijuana by a coworker that was either laced with cocaine or meth. Kaylee felt a high like never before but when she learned about the side effects of the drugs, she left her work. Kaylee then spent a month unemployed and in search of work before landing a new job. At her new job, another employee forced her to try meth for the first time. Although Kaylee rejected the offer, she was pressured into trying it. She recalls the moment she tried the drug for the first time.
“I took a video while I was on it, and I had been up three days straight. I eventually got taken home and got sober and watched the videos, and put that person out of my life and stopped using the drug.”
Kaylee decided that she should not travel down the path of addiction and stopped taking offers from her coworker.
Kaylee stopped taking offers from her coworker and decided to start a new chapter in life. She was doing good for a period of time until she started feeling isolated and lonely; forcing her to go back to taking the drug. However, she wanted to escape from a life of drugs and decided to go to rehab. Days before she was supposed to enter a rehab facility, she used the drug and experienced a hallucination that warped her perception of her relationship with God.
While in the induced state, Kaylee started walking, eventually reaching the railroad tracks outside that church on the early February morning.
“I thought everyone who had died was stuck in their graves, that God was up in Heaven alone, and that I had to sacrifice something important to be able to release everyone in the world to God. It made the world darker, and took everything I believed in and distorted them to make me go down the path to pulling out my eyes.”
“It was scary, I didn’t understand what God wanted of me, but it made me feel a sense of righteousness that I had to be the one to do it. And I was glad to do it because I’ve always had a big heart and nobody’s ever giving me that love back.”
“I proceeded to pull out my eyes with my bare hands and twisted them, and pulled them, and popped them. I told the pastor who showed up, ‘Pray for me, I want to see the light, pray for me.’ ”
Today, with the help of her mother, Katy Tompkins, Kaylee is trying to reconnect her faith.
“I’m learning Genesis to build my foundation. When I do something, I go big or go home… obviously. Humor is something that gets me by, laughing, music, that day itself.”
Kaylee is adjusting to her new life without sight and is trying to learn echolocation, where the blind use sound to navigate their surroundings. She says that music and her beloved mother are the two things that help her heal. Now, she’s serving as a public speaker for the Commission for the Blind and also hopes to raise enough money for a seeing eye dog through her GoFundMe page that has raised more than $44,237 of its $50,000 goal.
“I’m able to be Kaylee again. I’d rather be blind and be myself than be Kaylee on drugs, and I truly mean that with my heart. I’m Kaylee Jean Muthart, just like I was 10 years ago. Just better.”