Have you ever met someone in your life who seemed genuine, made you happy and inspired you to be a better person? And as you got closer, the mask started to unveil, revealing a whole new persona. That nice individual that they painted themselves to be was nothing that you expected, because their intentions were actually negative. We are all potential victims in the eyes of manipulators. They will always have a smile on their face and speak to us innocently, all the while making a deliberate attempt to deceive and control our very minds. Sadly, these manipulators all too often get their way. So, how do we keep ourselves safe from these people who try to take advantage of us? It’s simple, we have to be aware of those around us and take appropriate action. Here, we will discuss the 7 signs of an all-too-common type of manipulator: a “nice person” with negative intentions.
1. The conversations are always one-sided.
It would not come as a surprise that the conversations with a person who has negative intentions would be one-sided. Their cruel intentions are programmed to dominate discussions. In a normal conversation, people would at least try to engage by asking questions to show their concern. Manipulators, on the other hand, are not ordinary people when it comes to conversations.
The conversations are always about them and you never seem to get an opportunity to express your own emotions. This makes your emotions build up, which weighs you down mentally. Also, if they sense a failure in their conversational tactics, they’ll devise some other method of achieving their goals. The diversion is sudden and they will inexplicably show interest in your life and “what’s going on” with you. Don’t be fooled by this though, because they are so focused on themselves that the dialect spotlight will shine back on them within a matter of minutes.
2. They repeatedly make demands.
Someone who seems nice but is really a manipulator tends to make demands. They possess the ability to wear you down until you cave into their demands. As an individual who possesses negative intentions, they will often repeat or reiterate in a subtle manner the demand that they wish you to fulfill. Their demands are not because of their inability to fulfill a task, but rather their reassuring ego that convinces them that the victim has no sense of self-control.
The only way to fight a manipulative person is to challenge their words. When they ask you to do something repeatedly, assure them in a subtle way that their egotistic demands are not going to work on you. The only way to stop them in their tracks is to refuse to participate in their game. If you are not strong enough to say “NO”, then you will lose this battle, repeatedly.
3. You feel bad after talking to them.
After talking to a manipulator, you feel bad or strange. It’s your gut instinct or your intuition telling you that the person is toxic. When you are in between people who are positive and cheering, you feel energetic, but when you are dealing with a wolf in sheep’s clothing, you will be drained and emotionally hurt.
Try to recognize the ones that cheer you up from the ones who drain you. Then try to spend time with only those who make you happy and feel positive. If you allow people with negative intentions to surround you, your life will eventually become miserable, since you are no longer in control of your life.
4. They can use the game of persuasion to make you do anything.
Someone who is hiding behind a mask, representing a nice person but has negative intentions, can persuade you into doing almost anything. Even if it is something you don’t wish to do, they will use peer-pressure to make you follow through with their plan. Dialogical maneuvers are a favorite tool of manipulators and even if it’s something irrelevant, they want you to do it. This is so that they can feel as if they are in total control of the game.
Persuasion and pressure are dangerous weapons in the hands of manipulators. If the victim is emotionally troubled, then they have no problem following through with their plans. The only way to stop you from becoming a potential victim is to learn to say “NO” to things that you feel uncomfortable doing, even if it makes the person unhappy. Understand that you should never sacrifice your security so that someone else can be happy and in control of your life.
5. They use humor as a means to insult you.
Manipulators will say anything to insult you and then will add a “just kidding” at the end of the conversation. If someone does this to you more often than you realize until now, understand that this is a means for them to use humor to bring you down and remain superior to you. They also make jokes that hurt you in front of others to make you look bad. These kind of people are poisonous to you and your relationship since it makes you feel emotionally unstable.
6. They show abnormal eye contact and body language.
A sustained eye contact can be a weapon for manipulators. People have a natural tendency to believe someone who makes constant eye contact while talking. Manipulators use this as a way to ensure their “trustworthiness” in order to use you to their advantage. Then, there’s another side to this eye contact game. They may force you to keep looking at them, even when you try to shift focus. This pattern indicates that they have a hidden agenda in their mind.
Use caution and understand the pattern. They use eye contact and unusual body language to make you trust them. If you feel as though their eye contact or body language is unnatural, it is a clear sign that they have negative intentions.
7. They are mean to animals.
Anyone who treats an animal badly is a sign of an emotional manipulator. It shows their inner demon or issues they have hidden inside. A study conducted in 1970 shows that childhood cruelty to animals is the first warning sign of later delinquency, violence, and criminal behavior. Whether the person abused an animal 10 years ago or 5 minutes ago, take it as a clear sign that the person is bad news for you. Stay away from such people, as they will bring you nothing but pain and misery.